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The Spotless Mind

Musings of a Non-Film Reviewer. I pay, I watch, I comment.

Month

June 2013

MICHAEL JACKSON’S THIS IS IT (Kenny Ortega, 2010)

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It tries to be a concert movie and a documentary and it fails as both.

Although the songs are undeniably strong, the movie doesn’t offer any new insights. It just provides glimpses of the icon being nice to his crew and being human just like everyone else.

I would have had more fun listening to his Thriller album.

Rating: 2/5

LIFE AS WE KNOW IT (Greg Berlanti, 2010)

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Any movie that places a kid in danger to elicit laughs will get no love from me.

In this flick, the baby gets dropped, shoved, placed near an exhaust fan, abandoned on a couch, fed junk, bounced around, and any other uncomfortable situation you can think of. I kept groaning, not laughing.

And that didn’t even include the requisite rom-com scene involving a race to the airport to profess one’s love. More groans.

Rating: 1/5

UNCLE BOONMEE WHO CAN RECALL HIS PAST LIVES (Apichatpong Weerasethakul, 2010)

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A movie like this brings out the regular viewer in me.

I’m lost in all the metaphors and symbolisms and I really can’t appreciate whatever the movie is relaying. I usually have a soft spot for anything subtitled but this one barely piqued my interest.

And is that a sex scene with a catfish?

Rating: 2/5

THE SOCIAL NETWORK (David Fincher, 2010)

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This will probably end up as one of my favorite movies of all-time.

It tells this interesting story of the youngest genius billionaire and how he’s able to achieve this through apparent deceit and betrayal. The film has received a lot of flack for straying from facts but it seems to be the best approach to heighten the drama.

Aaron Sorkin’s screenplay is so brilliant you actually feel smart at the end of the movie. And as directed by David Fincher, you simply forget that all the action is driven by smart dialogue. Jesse Eisenberg is amazing as Mark Zuckerberg and the same can be said about the supporting cast consisting of Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, and Armie Hammer.

The movie is so good you won’t believe it’s all just about a social networking site called Facebook.

Rating: 5/5

EASY A (Will Gluck, 2010)

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Emma Stone is a star and in a cast where everyone seems to fit their roles to a tee (Amanda Bynes as the Bible-thumping beeyotch, Thomas Haden Church as the professor of reason, Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson as the coolest parents on Earth), she still manages to outshine everyone.

It may be hard to believe that someone as lovely (and hot!) is considered a loser at school but she plays the part perfectly that you end up sympathizing with her character. Credit goes to the smart screenplay as well making this the funniest teen movie since Mean Girls.

I’m so happy Emma dropped out of Sucker Punch for this.

Rating: 4/5

THE BACK-UP PLAN (Alan Poul, 2010)

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I’m saddened by the fact that this supposed romantic-comedy is actually offensive to women and mothers.

The main character played by Jennifer Lopez is a dimwit that didn’t learn anything from What to Expect When You’re Expecting (yes, she’s seen reading the book in one scene). Let’s see, here’s a woman desperately wanting a child so she undergoes artificial insemination. After the procedure, she walks in a funny manner squeezing both legs (to probably prevent the sperm from falling out of her vagina). And then she comes out of the clinic and dances under the rain. Where’s the logic in that? While pregnant, she dives into a dumpster to get back her security pillow. Oh, and she dives face first in a cab.

I thought she wanted to have a baby? Why is she not even taking care of herself? And please don’t get me started on all the poop jokes. Offensive, I tell you.

Rating: 1/5

MULI (Adolf Alix, Jr., 2010)

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This is probably one of my least favorite Alix movies.

The gay theme just seems to be out of place in the heavily political setting. It’s hard to feel for the central characters when the movie doesn’t really establish much of their love story. They just seem to be two confused people in need of a fuck buddy. Sid Lucero gives a powerful performance that sadly is not matched by Cogie Domingo.

They find love in a hopeless place. So what?

Rating: 2/5

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME (Mike Newell, 2010)

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What sands? I just kept wishing that I had Jake Gyllenhaal’s abs.

He was supposed to play a Persian prince and from there I couldn’t stop giggling. The movie did feel like a videogame with its excessive special effects but the story seemed to have been lost in translation. Even Gemma Arterton seemed to have been made of 16-bit icons. I’ve seen better acting from Aeris Gainsborough.

Overall, the movie was one big, bloated mess that should have stayed in a console.

Rating: 2/5

IN YOUR EYES (Mac Alejandre, 2010)

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The movie, the characters, and the storyline were all completely despicable. It was hard to root for anyone in this awful movie because the characters probably weren’t written to make clear judgements.

Don’t get me started on the horrendous non-acting of Richard Gutierrez. Stupid decisions were made, improbable outcomes happened, and then the movie had the gall to fast-forward two years later where the characters simply forgot everything that happened and lived happily ever after. “Hey, you made out with my sister but that’s okay since we all have green cards now. Let’s fix our relationship and forget everything. Call me maybe?”

You would definitely want to take a long cold shower to remove this much filth from your mind.

Rating: 1/5

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