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My notes on London Has Fallen:

1. I always feel a certain sense of pride whenever the Philippines is mentioned in foreign movies or TV shows. I felt the exact same way when this one started, even if the country was actually getting bombed. Talk about Pinoy Fried.

2. Gerard Butler played Mike Banning, a Secret Service agent slash US President’s bodyguard. They should have reconsidered his job because places kept falling everywhere he went. He was supposedly so protective that he installed 6 CCTV cameras in his future baby’s nursery when 1 monitor would have sufficed. Expect another sequel: Baby Has Fallen.

3. You know you’re watching a silly action-fantasy when the great Morgan Freeman only plays Vice-President. Sure, his speaking voice resonates better in a room full of top-tier government personnel rather than screaming for his dear life, but you never ever place God second in command. (Also, the Canadian Prime Minister here was not hot. Pure fantasy.)

4. When a newsperson announced that the British PM’s funeral was the “most protected event on Earth”, you immediately knew this wasn’t true, otherwise there wouldn’t be a movie. Besides, Butler was attending so it was expected that major London landmarks will fall and they all did, in so-so CGI fashion. (Insert London Bridge is falling down joke here.)

5. Gratuitous according to Google Dictionary meant uncalled for, lacking good reason, and unwarranted. It was the perfect description for all of the violence here (multiple headshots, people getting rammed against walls or hit by trucks), although the same could be said about the sequel itself.

6. I had always thought that London was such a rich city but when the power went out, none of the buildings had emergency lights. I guess they never really experience brownouts/blackouts so they were not as prepared as Pinoys (with a cupboard full of lanterns, candles, and matches).

Speaking of, could anyone confirm that there was a supposed Three Days of Darkness in the 80’s where the Lord was supposed to walk the streets and people were not allowed to look so they should have covered windows with soot and charcoal and everyone started to panic-buy emergency supplies since they couldn’t get out of their houses? Please tell me I had not gone crazy.

7. In one scene, Banning asked US President Benjamin Asher (Aaron Eckhart) to get out of the crashed helicopter since it could explode any time. In the succeeding scene, Banning stepped out of the rubble and President Asher was just standing next to the chopper. No wonder he needed a lot of protecting.

8. A million flying bullets, a helicopter crash, a vehicle that flipped multiple times, and a fall in a shallow shaft did no bodily harm (not even one broken bone!) on Banning. He was unbreakable as a one-man SWAT with supposedly witty one-liners (copyrighted by Cesar Montano tbh). Pure bollocks! Why didn’t they make a video game instead? I probably would have enjoyed that.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

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