POMPEII (Paul W.S. Anderson, 2014)

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All your favorite series characters die in this huge stinking pile of hooey. Check the poster.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published February 28, 2014.)

HER (Spike Jonze, 2013)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Her:

1. I really liked Her, but I still couldn’t understand all the talk on Scarlett Johannson’s snub for Best Supporting Actress. Really?

2. Joaquin Phoenix, though. He just kept giving us these brilliant performances every year that you’d begin to wonder why he didn’t have a boatload of Oscars.

3. I loved those high-waisted pants. Retro was the future of fashion. Trust Spike Jonze to mess with our heads.

4. BeautifulWrittenLetters.com. LetterLater.com. A love letter would always be one of the sweetest forms of communication. An online love letter could suffice.

5. Who wouldn’t fall in love with Siri? She knew everything and usually followed your orders. It was destiny.

But even an iOS girlfriend might break your heart. Love sucks.

Rating: ★★★★☆

(Originally published February 28, 2014.)

THIRD EYE (Aloy Adlawan, 2014)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Third Eye:

1. Where did Regal Films get these extras? The acting in the first five minutes was just horrendous! I hope that wasn’t the only scary thing here.

2. You know that somebody else dubbed for Ejay Falcon since he spoke fluent English.

3. The lead character with the third eye played an opthalmologist. With a cheap painted office signage.

4. Girl, you actually wore a lacy frock paired with a gypsy skirt. Don’t act surprised that your husband left you!!

5. Palmolive should give Carla Abellana a bonus. She was haggard from all the running, but her hair maintained that perfectly bagsak look.

6. It was broad daylight. Wasn’t it too early for the aswangs to be wearing Mena cream?

7. Carla decided to fight back and returned to the aswang village carrying a… golf club!! I hope that was a 9-iron.

8. The aswangs had proper dining etiquette. They placed the laman-loob first in a bowl before making papak. Emily Post would be proud.

9. An entire village had to use a battering ram to break open a puny wooden door. Even if the house had a lot of open windows. LOL!

10. Poor Alex Medina. He was so good in Babagwa and he was just wasted in this crapfest.

11. Wait, if this was an aswang movie, why was it called Third Eye?!

12. Blind.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published February 28, 2014.)

UNOFFICIALLY YOURS (Cathy Garcia-Molina, 2012)

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From the opening sequence that involved a forgettable “laman vs. sabaw” discussion down to the clichéd dialogue we’ve heard in previous movies, you know this one’s hobbled by a weak screenplay.

Trust a gifted director like Cathy Garcia-Molina to create magic out of something formulaic. There was even a brilliant sex sequence guaranteed to elicit laughter for minutes. I didn’t completely buy the chemistry of the leads but they did really good work individually.

John Lloyd Cruz continued to show why he’s the best actor of this generation. He was charming without ever being cloying and he actually helped elevate Angel Locsin’s performance (probably her best work to date).

Overall, this latest romantic-comedy from Star Cinema didn’t really break new ground but damn it, it made me kilig the whole time.

Rating: ★★★★☆

(Originally published February 17, 2012.)

A MOMENT IN TIME (Emmanuel Palo, 2013)

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Blatantly ripped-off scenes from other Star Cinema romance movies while wasting its charming leads. It was a classic case of good actors trapped in a really, really bad movie. Why, Star, why?!

The scene where Julia rapped to prove that she was jologs had to be one of the most cringe-worthy scenes in Pinoy cinema this year.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published February 17, 2013.)