Poor production values and lame acting make it unfit for the big screen (but also not even good enough for TV).
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
(Originally published April 30, 2013.)
Month: April 2020
MOVIE REVIEW: IRON MAN 3 (Shane Black, 2013)
It had me at Blue (Da Ba Dee) but lost me with its excessive, unnecessary quips.
Can we fault a superhero movie for being too funny? Did we really need all those quips amidst all the dying people?
Granted, Robert Downey, Jr.’s the most charismatic actor (aside from Johnny Depp) but the comedy here really put me off.
Sure, it’s cool and everything’s tongue-in-cheek but this isn’t about some Norse god that fell on earth. There’s no need for camp.
Rating: ★★★☆☆
(Originally published April 30, 2013.)
MOVIE REVIEW: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 (James Gunn, 2017)
Confidently beautiful with a heart.
Rating: ★★★★☆
(Originally published April 30, 2017.)
MOVIE REVIEW: AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (Anthony and Joe Russo, 2018)
SPOILER ALERT!!
There’s really nothing to spoil when a movie barely has any stakes.
Anyway, was Marvel throwing major shade when the character who believed in the positive effect of genocide to cleanse the universe retired peacefully in the Philippines?
Rating: ★★☆☆☆
(Originally published April 30, 2018.)
MOVIE REVIEW: THE LUCKY ONE (Scott Hicks, 2012)
A movie without any real conflict. It was about a bunch of characters complicating situations and creating their own problems. I giggled uncontrollably while Zac delivered a monologue that belonged in an overacting pantheon. I couldn’t believe this was made by the same director of Shine. Probably the worst Nicholas Sparks movie in a while.
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
(Originally published April 29, 2012.)
MOVIE REVIEW: LIGO NA U, LAPIT NA ME (Erick Salud, 2011)
The movie was about sex and it wasn’t afraid to show it. It spoke about a modern relationship, making it accessible to just about everyone who had ever been in love.
With breakthrough performances from Edgar Allan Guzman and a sensual Mercedes Cabral, this was the type of film that No Strings Attached (or Friends with Benefits) tried, but failed to achieve.
If you like your rom-coms smart, funny and raunchy, this is it.
Rating: ★★★☆☆
(Originally published April 29, 2012.)
MOVIE REVIEW: THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE (Jim Fall, 2003)
Hey now, hey now, this isn’t what dreams are made of…
Rating: ★★☆☆☆
(Originally published April 29, 2017.)
MOVIE REVIEW: DA POSSESSED (Joyce Bernal, 2014)
SPOILER ALERT!!
My notes on Da Possessed:
1. Where were the possessions to begin with? Did they come up with a supposedly funny title first before working on the story? They failed on both btw.
2. Vhong Navarro’s haircut made him appear like Jim Carrey and the film was indeed dumb, dumber, and dumbest.
3. I had been very patient with this movie up until that extended Bollywood dance sequence. What the flying fuck?! I demand a refund!!
4. “Nabugbog ako. Hindi niyo ba nabalitaan?” #groan
5. I should have seen this last Black Saturday. This would have been the perfect penance for Holy Week. Pure torture.
6. The only good thing here was the trailer of Sarah and Coco’s Maybe This Time shown before the movie.
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
(Originally published April 27, 2014.)
MOVIE REVIEW: TRANSCENDENCE (Wally Pfister, 2014)
Depp looked extremely bored and he wasn’t the only one. Talk about artificial intelligence.
Rating: ★★☆☆☆
(Originally published April 27, 2014.)
MOVIE REVIEW: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (Wes Anderson, 2014)
My kind of whimsical entertainment from the fantastic Mr. Anderson. Truly beautiful!
P.S. Full disclosure: I absolutely abhorred the cloying Moonrise Kingdom.
P.P.S. Tilda Swinton only showed up for 5 minutes and she was amazing as always.
Rating: ★★★★★
(Originally published April 27, 2014.)
The Spotless Mind 