MOVIE REVIEW: SAN ANDREAS (Brad Peyton, 2015)

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San Andreas was awful, cribbing from better disaster flicks like Deep Impact and Titanic. Worse, I didn’t care much about the characters.

When people are dying around you and you still have time for landian, don’t expect me to wish for your survival.

As a 3D/4DX ride though, it was (oddly) fun to watch. I was screaming my lungs out and clutching on to my seat for dear life.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published June 1, 2015.)

MOVIE REVIEW: MEN IN BLACK 3 (Barry Sonnenfeld, 2012)

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I’ve always thought that nobody could outshine Will Smith in any of his movies. Josh Brolin proved me wrong with his completely nuanced portrayal of a younger Tommy Lee Jones. He stole all of the scenes that he was in and generated most of the laughs in this same old-same old but still enjoyable popcorn flick. I wouldn’t mind another sequel.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

(Originally published May 31, 2012.)

MOVIE REVIEW: THE RAVEN (James McTeigue, 2012)

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Whatever happened to John Cusack?

In this slow-moving and dreary movie, he played the famous author and poet Edgar Allan Poe, who in turn played a detective role similar to Sherlock Holmes. Sadly, Cusack lost all control of his emotions and gave his worst performance straight out of Nicolas Cage’s School of (Over)Acting.

The tedious story further pulled him down until viewers realized that they has been duped into seeing a pretentious thriller not too different from the Saw movies.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published May 31, 2012.)

MOVIE REVIEW: BORN TO LOVE YOU (Jerome Pobocan, 2012)

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I honestly sharpened my claws before I saw this movie since the trailer alone was a gold mine of clunky dialogue and bad diction (“Ay lab u por! Por eber!!). Between Coco and Angeline, the English language didn’t just get murdered, it ended up double dead.

With that said, the pair had such great chemistry that it was hard not to like their tandem. Her funny way of talking aside, Angeline actually had an undeniable screen presence and charm. Coco was Coco and he was the type of actor (similar to John Lloyd Cruz) that could make the most out of a weak material.

This was still a bad movie that didn’t steer away from the clichéd Star Cinema formula but it was elevated by the winning performances of its leads.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published May 31, 2012.)

MOVIE REVIEW: COLOSSAL (Nacho Vigalondo, 2016)

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Started as a cool concept where Anne Hathaway controlled a Godzilla/Cloverfield-like monster in Seoul, but eventually abandoned its metaphors and never went beyond its “There’s a monster in all of us” tagline. I wonder what Charlie Kaufman could have done with this conceit.

By the time it reached its final act, it had turned into an actual disaster by way of Ashley Judd revenge B-movies where all men were the real monsters.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published May 30, 2017.)