MOVIE REVIEW: WHITE HOUSE DOWN (Roland Emmerich, 2013)

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Say something funny because people are dying! Cheese has never been this rotten.

This reeked of a typical Pinoy action movie. I can’t wait for the MMFF version with Jorge Estregan, Jr. and Cesar Montano.

Because there’s always time to be funny in emergency situations. Worst movie I’ve seen this year so far.

The audience seemed to enjoy it, though. There were a lot of cheers and applause in our screening. Don’t let me stop you.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published July 8, 2013.)

MOVIE REVIEW: THE BREAKUP PLAYLIST (Dan Villegas, 2015)

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I really liked that the movie didn’t trivialize love. Gino and Trixie’s love story didn’t happen overnight. You actually know how and why they fell in love.

Not all love stories are the usual meet cute and full of romantic or kilig moments. As in real life, more often than not they’re uneventful and boring.

But you know their love is true and your heart breaks for this crazy couple fighting over trivial things like the car aircon.

And even with an ending that felt a tad forced, you know this isn’t your usual fairy tale romance. Pain is inevitable, but love remains.

Rating: ★★★★☆

(Originally published July 8, 2015.)

MOVIE REVIEW: AN KUBO SA KAWAYANAN (Alvin Yapan, 2015)

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It’s the kind of crazy good filmmaking that makes you not want to give up entirely on Philippine Cinema, especially independent films.

Kitang-kita na pinag-isipan ang bawat metikulosong eksena at mahihiya ang mainstream movies na halatang minadali at produkto ng katamaran.

If there was one minor thing that I didn’t like, it would be the tiny yellow subtitles that you could barely read in some scenes.

Otherwise, it was a beautiful (BEAUTIFUL!) movie in every sense of the word.

Rating: ★★★★★

(Originally published July 8, 2015.)

MOVIE REVIEW: MAGIC MIKE XXL (Gregory Jacobs, 2015)

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You watch Channing Tatum doing a slick dance to Ginuwine’s Pony and you just know that life is not fair.

As a furniture maker, I wonder how many wooden chairs and tables he has broken from dry humping them. Talk about drilling.

Although there were several moments of cheeky fun (one of them set to the Backstreet Boys’ I Want It That Way), this road trip film felt a bit confused.

It glorified stripping like it was the most noble profession slash true art form slash the American dream slash easy money.

But who were we kidding? You just wanted to see those abs and dirty moves and the last ten minutes made it worth your one dollar bills.

Open ka ba sa stripping?

Rating: ★★★☆☆

(Originally published July 8, 2015.)

MOVIE REVIEW: BRIDGET JONES’S DIARY (Sharon Maguire, 2001)

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🎼
Knew the signs wasn’t right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused, my heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn’t see
We were never meant to be…

P.S. #TeamDarcy4evs

Rating: ★★★★☆

(Originally published June 27, 2017.)