BRIDE WARS (Gary Winick, 2009)

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Burning questions:

• I couldn’t understand why they chose to sabotage each other’s weddings when they were supposed to be the best of friends. Shouldn’t they have tried to ruin the life of Casey Wilson instead (especially since she acted really maldita to them)?

• Would any woman in her right mind ever dump the leaner version of Chris Pratt for another guy?

• They looked so much in love. Why didn’t they marry each other instead? #LoveWins

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published July 1, 2017.)

MOVIE REVIEW: ZOMBIELAND (Ruben Fleischer, 2009)

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My favorite scene (aside from everything with Bill Murray in it) was when Jesse Eisenberg said that the best thing about Zombieland was that “There are no Facebook status updates”, and then a year later he played Mark Zuckerberg on The Social Network.

Rating: ★★★★☆

MOVIE REVIEW: THE UNBORN (David S. Goyer, 2009)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

It stopped being scary as soon as the possessed kid muttered the classic “Jumby wants to be born now” line. It had me in stitches.

I remember how lovely Odette Yustman looked in Cloverfield. I was not surprised with the gratuitous shower and underwear scenes.

I’m so over movies with twisting body parts and dead people doing the spider walk. Everything screams Asian horror rip-off.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published September 6, 2013.)

MOVIE REVIEW: AVATAR (James Cameron, 2009)

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Didn’t realize that the colors of the wind were just shades of blue. Fantastic special effects, though.

I don’t think I’ll ever warm up to Avatar. It took me three days to finish the movie because my eyes were not cooperating.

And I just hated the fact that James Horner simply recycled his award-winning score for Titanic. Please.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published August 3, 2013.)

MOVIE REVIEW: MICHAEL JACKSON’S THIS IS IT (Kenny Ortega, 2009)

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Tried to be a concert movie and a documentary, but failed as both. Although the songs were undeniably strong (hello, King of Pop!), the movie didn’t really offer any new insights. It just provided glimpses of the icon being nice to his crew and being human just like everyone else. I would have had more fun listening to his Thriller album.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

 

MOVIE REVIEW: PUSH (Paul McGuigan, 2009)

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It could have been called Heroes the Movie.

Using a similar mythology as the hit TV show, we follow the lives of several characters with superhuman powers as they freak themselves out, freak others out, and get their freak on.

Camilla Belle is a terrible actress and the movie does feel trashy at times but it succeeds in drawing you in this fantasy world. The fight scenes are excellently-staged and anything with Dakota Fanning is at least worth a see.

Rating: ★★★☆☆