127 HOURS (Danny Boyle, 2010)

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If I were ever trapped between a rock and a hard place, I probably wouldn’t even survive the first hour because: 1) I have an extremely low tolerance for pain, 2) I couldn’t even drink McDo’s milk tea, let alone my own urine, and 3) I fainted twice during the last twenty minutes of this film.

I’ll reserve all my adventures inside my bedroom thank you.

Rating: ★★★★★

LITTLE FOCKERS (Paul Weitz, 2010)

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This movie was just downright embarrassing. An all-star cast of funny men and women with nary a genuine laugh-out-loud moment? They were obviously just milking the cow (or cat) and I hope Robert De Niro was paid well enough for him not to do another disaster of this kind. The movie was filled with infantile poop and barf jokes that the audience would rightfully feel nauseated.

Definitely one of the worst of 2010.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published August 24, 2010.)

MICHAEL JACKSON’S THIS IS IT (Kenny Ortega, 2010)

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It tries to be a concert movie and a documentary and it fails as both.

Although the songs are undeniably strong, the movie doesn’t offer any new insights. It just provides glimpses of the icon being nice to his crew and being human just like everyone else.

I would have had more fun listening to his Thriller album.

Rating: 2/5

LIFE AS WE KNOW IT (Greg Berlanti, 2010)

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Any movie that places a kid in danger to elicit laughs will get no love from me.

In this flick, the baby gets dropped, shoved, placed near an exhaust fan, abandoned on a couch, fed junk, bounced around, and any other uncomfortable situation you can think of. I kept groaning, not laughing.

And that didn’t even include the requisite rom-com scene involving a race to the airport to profess one’s love. More groans.

Rating: 1/5

UNCLE BOONMEE WHO CAN RECALL HIS PAST LIVES (Apichatpong Weerasethakul, 2010)

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A movie like this brings out the regular viewer in me.

I’m lost in all the metaphors and symbolisms and I really can’t appreciate whatever the movie is relaying. I usually have a soft spot for anything subtitled but this one barely piqued my interest.

And is that a sex scene with a catfish?

Rating: 2/5

EASY A (Will Gluck, 2010)

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Emma Stone is a star and in a cast where everyone seems to fit their roles to a tee (Amanda Bynes as the Bible-thumping beeyotch, Thomas Haden Church as the professor of reason, Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson as the coolest parents on Earth), she still manages to outshine everyone.

It may be hard to believe that someone as lovely (and hot!) is considered a loser at school but she plays the part perfectly that you end up sympathizing with her character. Credit goes to the smart screenplay as well making this the funniest teen movie since Mean Girls.

I’m so happy Emma dropped out of Sucker Punch for this.

Rating: 4/5

THE BACK-UP PLAN (Alan Poul, 2010)

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I’m saddened by the fact that this supposed romantic-comedy is actually offensive to women and mothers.

The main character played by Jennifer Lopez is a dimwit that didn’t learn anything from What to Expect When You’re Expecting (yes, she’s seen reading the book in one scene). Let’s see, here’s a woman desperately wanting a child so she undergoes artificial insemination. After the procedure, she walks in a funny manner squeezing both legs (to probably prevent the sperm from falling out of her vagina). And then she comes out of the clinic and dances under the rain. Where’s the logic in that? While pregnant, she dives into a dumpster to get back her security pillow. Oh, and she dives face first in a cab.

I thought she wanted to have a baby? Why is she not even taking care of herself? And please don’t get me started on all the poop jokes. Offensive, I tell you.

Rating: 1/5

PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME (Mike Newell, 2010)

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What sands? I just kept wishing that I had Jake Gyllenhaal’s abs.

He was supposed to play a Persian prince and from there I couldn’t stop giggling. The movie did feel like a videogame with its excessive special effects but the story seemed to have been lost in translation. Even Gemma Arterton seemed to have been made of 16-bit icons. I’ve seen better acting from Aeris Gainsborough.

Overall, the movie was one big, bloated mess that should have stayed in a console.

Rating: 2/5

EAT PRAY LOVE (Ryan Murphy, 2010)

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I considered this movie as one of the worst of 2010. After another viewing, I realized that it wasn’t so bad after all and it did have its genuine warmth and charm.

The movie rested solely on the shoulders of Julia Roberts and she succeeded in making a whiny, selfish, self-centered woman somewhat relatable and sympathetic.

I especially enjoyed the “Eat” part with all the dining, drinking, and laughing. I just added “Italy Food Trip” to my growing bucket list.

Rating: 3/5