MOVIE REVIEW: WHITE HOUSE DOWN (Roland Emmerich, 2013)


Say something funny because people are dying! Cheese has never been this rotten.

This reeked of a typical Pinoy action movie. I can’t wait for the MMFF version with Jorge Estregan, Jr. and Cesar Montano.

Because there’s always time to be funny in emergency situations. Worst movie I’ve seen this year so far.

The audience seemed to enjoy it, though. There were a lot of cheers and applause in our screening. Don’t let me stop you.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published July 8, 2013.)



Similar to A Serbian Film, I probably would never watch this one again. It succeeded on its intent to shock and disturb (penile implant! penis ingestion! incest! self-mutilation! sado-masochism! rape!), but it didn’t rise above such a shallow goal.

It was also dialogue-free (for no apparent reason) so I ended up supplying the lines halfway through just to keep myself awake.

Watch Pieta instead.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published June 12, 2017.)

MOVIE REVIEW: NOW YOU SEE ME (Louis Letterier, 2013)


I hate this trend of movies dumbing down the audience by explaining everything in the ending. Leave something for us to think about please.

Now You See Me will trick you into thinking that it’s a great movie. You’ll be entertained up until the predictable ending. Just like magic.

It had a clever magic sequence at the start. It was a common card trick but I completely fell for it. You will, too.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

(Originally published June 9, 2013.)

MOVIE REVIEW: AFTER EARTH (M. Night Shyamalan, 2013)


At least it’s not The Happening.

The good news: it wasn’t as awful as I expected it to be. The bad news: It was still a bad movie that played like a lame videogame.

It was Hollywood nepotism at its worst. Jaden Smith seemed to have lost all the charms he displayed in the Karate Kid remake.

For all its worth, I was happy they downplayed that it was a Shyamalan movie because (spoiler alert!!) it had no requisite twist.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published June 9, 2013.)

MOVIE REVIEW: SIDE EFFECTS (Steven Soderbergh, 2013)


Interesting thriller that might have worked better if it wasn’t paced like Solaris.

Woman’s married to Channing Tatum and she’s still depressed and suicidal. There’s a scientific term for her condition: crazy.

Kidding aside, this is a mildly entertaining thriller dealing with depression and prescription drugs. To say more would ruin the fun.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

(Originally published June 9, 2013.)