ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP (Walt Becker, 2015)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip:

1. As a kid, I have always loved the Chipmunks that I would try and imitate their voices by talking in front of an electric fan with the dial turned up to three. (Okay, sometimes I sang the theme song as well: “Alvin, Simon, Theodoooore!”) And no, I never had access to helium balloons. If I did, I wouldn’t have ended up with so much kabag.

2. This fourth film in the series wasn’t any better than the previous sequels, but it was just too hard to hate on these lovable, furry singing creatures. The jokes were completely juvenile so they mostly involved farting, peeing, and pooping. My favorite bit was when Alvin told Dave that they were very mature and then Theodore farted and said in his too cute voice, “Oops, pizza toots!” It might not be funny for anyone over eight, but us kids laughed our hearts out.

3. I wish there were more pop songs included here other than Uptown Funk and Geronimo. Sure, it was fun to hear Conga and Iko Iko but I missed the Chipettes singing Bad Romance and Single Ladies. Plus, the girls were sidelined in the entire movie playing judges in a blatant plug for American Idol.

4. Jennifer Coolidge showed up yet again in a ditzy role which was a variation of her Sophie Kaczinsky in 2 Broke Girls, in turn a variation of her Paulette in Legally Blonde, also a variation of her MILF role in American Pie. Has she played any other character of late?

5. Actually, a lot of good actors (mostly Emmy winners) showed up to cash in their checks. Tony Hale endured a lot of slapstick jokes from various animals that will put his encounters with VP Selina Meyer to shame. Uzo Aduba had a thankless role as a security officer that simply wanted to frisk passengers. Even John Waters showed up for a brief cameo (thankfully, no poop-eating scene).

6. I wouldn’t be spoiling anything if I say that Dave ended up adopting the Chipmunks, thereby one-upping the Brangelina clan. As one character stated, “Families come in all shapes and sizes. We don’t judge.” Aww, now wasn’t that nice?

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published January 26, 2016.)

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SING (Garth Jennings, Christophe Lourdelet, 2016)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Sing:

1. When the Illumination logo showed up and the Minions started singing, I suddenly wished that they were part of the movie. What kind of animals (critters?) were they, anyway? At least it made me excited for their next outing. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be as bad as the last one.

2. I really liked the zippy opening montage introducing all the animals and their current dilemmas. Most of the characters here reminded me so much of Zootopia (like they existed in a parallel cinema universe). I wish their story arcs (young man going against his father’s dream for him, housewife wanting to fulfill her passion, teenage girl experiencing her first heartbreak, etc.) were more developed though, because they represented majority of us and our insecurities.

3. Buster Moon’s (Matthew McConaughey) love for theater at a young age reminded me of my early days watching Fernando Poe, Jr. (and the occasional Sharon Cuneta) films in Alabang Twin Cinema. My grandmother would always drag me to see Da King decimate an entire army of goons with just a .45 (without ever reloading bullets!).

Parents, it’s never too late to expose your kids to the arts.

4. Any American Idol fan would be able to relate to the entire audition process and competition rules (at one point, Buster dictated the songs that he wanted the contestants to perform; hello Simon Fuller controversy!). The selection of songs used here ranged from the classics (Hallelujah, also one of the most-performed songs on AI) to the current pop songs (Crazy in Love, Bad Romance, Firework, Stay With Me).

My favorite auditionees were the Asereje spiders and the Japanese little foxes girl group. They made me cheer from my seat out of nostalgia.

5. The movie occasionally made fun of one character with a disability, an elderly iguana with a glass eye. I laughed out really loud when the said eye fell out of its socket and bounced on the keyboard, resulting to an error on the actual cash prize for the competition. Would I go straight to hell for that?

6. Although the story was only fairly decent, most of the voice performances were really strong. Aside from McConaughey singing Call Me Maybe, it was a delight to hear Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansson, Seth McFarlane and Taron Egerton belting their hearts out.

My favorite though was Tori Kelly as Meena, a shy elephant with stage fright. When she had her shining moment performing Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing, I was cheering along with the rest of the animal crowd.

7. The squid light show looked enchanting but weirdly enough also made me crave for Mesa’s Baby Squid Adobo in its own ink.

8. As a person with stage fright myself (I forgot a huge chunk of my speech during a Talumpatian in grade school and cried onstage), I would always remember what Buster said to Meena, “Don’t let fear stop you from doing the thing you love.” Noted and noted.

Rating: ★★★☆☆