ANG TABA KO KASI (Jason Paul Laxamana, 2016)

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Occasionally funny, but it didn’t go beyond “fat people are hilarious and they deserve to have sex, too”. Cai Cortez was her usual brilliant self, though.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

(Originally published March 16, 2016.)

STARTING OVER AGAIN (Olivia Lamasan, 2014)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Starting Over Again:

1. With a better treatment (and alternate ending), this could have been a great Star Cinema, feel-bad Pinoy movie. It might have been predictable and clunky, but it did have some really good lines and realistic scenes of heartbreak.

2. Toni Gonzaga (as Patty) was effortlessly funny, although she struggled a bit in her dramatic scenes. (Side note: She needs to have her legs insured. They looked amazing and she knew just how to accentuate them.)

As Marco, Piolo Pascual just didn’t seem to exert any effort at all. Was I the only one annoyed by his excessive use of the word “diba” in that confrontation scene? It didn’t help that he sounded more bitchy than hurt. (At least he fared much better in his silent crying scenes.)

3. In all my years of travelling to and from Alabang, I’ve never taken an actual train. Especially since there are hundreds of buses and jeepneys and shuttle services that will drop you in South Station or Metropolis/StarMall. Where is this train and where are its stops?

On a related note, my favorite scene in that sequence was that of Patty getting off a moving bus. It was just too hilarious. And it elicited the expected reactions from the very amused crowd.

4. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Iza Calzado is a brilliant actress. I loved how calm and collected she was during Patty’s confrontation scene with Ginny. Her restraint showed the maturity of her character and her nuanced performance made that scene even more powerful. She also had the best lines in the movie. I wonder why she’s not given the projects she deserves.

5. “A relationship should have the right ingredients: love, trust, and an allowance for mistakes. Love is greater than someone’s failures. In love there is no fear.”

I bawled my eyes out.

And Patty’s line about their non-romantic love:

“Our love may be quiet and boring, but it’s sure.”

Shet. Pass me the tissues.

6. If I were in this movie, I would be Beb played by the dependable Cai Cortez (ok, insert the fat joke here). But really, I saw myself in her character. I would be that one friend who wouldn’t mince words no matter how brutal the message would be; that one friend who would offer you a hug then slap you back to reality.

7. I will forever use these memorable lines in future drinking sessions with relapsing friends:

“Yang hope na yan, lason yan. Parang drugs, nakaka-adik.”

“Adik ka na naman sa pag-asa. Try mo kaya lumaklak ng realidad.”

8. Why do we have this growing trend in local movies where seemingly smart women beg other women to lend or give up their boyfriends/husbands? Icky.

I’m happy to see though that the “third wheel” here wasn’t made to look like a devil in the last act just to justify the break-up and possible happy ending for the leads. Patty was really nice and giving and there was just no reason for Marco not to love her. In fact, she did look like Mama Mary.

9. And here’s my message to all my exes (parang ang dami): “I can never un-love you. I just love you in a different way now.” (Sob.)

10. I really hated that wood-crashing scene. It felt straight out of a Wenn Deramas movie. Worst possible deus ex machina.

11. After Forever and a Day, I wonder if Star Cinema will ever have the balls again to end films the way they really should.

I’m sure a lot of people loved the cameos and they felt the need to give its audience a hopeful ending. In real life though, it would take years before Ginny will get over Marco, more years for her to pick up the pieces, and even more years to finally meet the right one. (And that’s already being hopeful.)

12. If the movie ended with Ginny deleting the message and the camera panning out showing Ginny ready to move on with the swelling theme song in the background, I would probably have rated this higher. Maybe they’ll consider that for the DVD? For all the Bebs out there, please?

P. S. Two girls in front of us were taking selfies (with flash) during the closing credits so I gave one of them “sungay”. Made them stop.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

(Originally published February 14, 2014.)

FOOLISH LOVE (Joel Lamangan, 2017)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Foolish Love:

1. I have a lot of single women friends, but thankfully none of them have ever reached the level of desperation of Virginia (Angeline Quinto). After getting dumped by her gay boyfriend and with the end of the world coming soon (read: her 30th birthday), she decided that her eggs had been unfertilized enough and she needed to find a partner by hook or by crook (or in this case, by Facebook). Let me count her kagagahan ways.

2. Together with her very smart friends, they stalked her Sasmoan childhood sweetheart on FB, but never bothered to check his profile picture. Through some miracle, they were able to get the addresses of all the Rey dela Cruzes, especially the half dozen that lived in the Quiapo area. As expected, none of them were the real Rey and they just ended up having their appearances mocked (one was ngongo, the other a midget, and the rest were just your local tambays sa kanto).

Everyone knows that the most logical thing to do was to go back to Pampanga and ask his relatives for any information on his whereabouts, but I guess the cute search was a must in the rom-com formula.

3. When her plan failed, Virginia (wink, wink) decided to visit her mother and while on a bus, met this handsome stranger (EJ Falcon) that she just couldn’t resist flirting with. Nagpaakbay agad si gaga even if it was so obvious that he was a thief. I think she immediately fell in love with him after this conversation:

“Ang galing ng moment na ‘to. Ikaw si Virgie, ako si Vhal. V ka. V ako. Ang galing no?”

4. After all these mishaps, she decided that the best thing to do was to enter the convent and become a nun. I wasn’t surprised because she was very religious. In one scene, she was being eaten by “Rey” (Jake Cuenca) and the camera focused on her delirious face while she was screaming “Thank you Lord!”.

By the way, she met “Rey” while he was sitting on a bench wearing a hoodie under the pouring rain. She asked this stranger to enter her house with the reason “Masyado syang gwapo para maging magnanakaw.” Yup, some women never learn.

5. I wasn’t sure why they forced Angeline to deliver some lines in English (“I was like a timebomb. Tik tak tik tak!”), but I guess it was part of the movie’s weird humor. I mean Vangie Labalan’s face was plastered on a beauty soap for crying out loud.

I’m still crossing my fingers for that Angeline Quinto-Maja Salvador comedy where they both play John Robert Powers instructors.

6. The ToMiho loveteam had a chunk of the screen time even if they couldn’t act to save their lives. I was close to throwing up every time they called each other Leading Man and Leading Lady (ironically, in a movie where they were playing support).

The only decent performance here was from Cai Cortez. I bet she would have made a great leading lady.

7. In one scene, Virginia apologized to “Rey” for offering 3-in-1 coffee. He replied with “Hindi ko nga alam bakit ang iba nagbabayad ng mahal para sa kape.” Aba walang pakialamanan! Ikaw nga nagpapaulan sa bench na naka-hoodie!!

8. In a bizarre last act twist, the movie turned into 50 Shades of Grey with all the sado-masochism, including a strangulation sex scene. Huwat?!

9. At this point, I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore. The movie was already as dumb and as desperate as its lead character. Fittingly enough, it ended with this crazy scene with a pregnant Virginia running around in a cemetery. Dead.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Metro Manila Film Festival 2016 Scorecard

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After travelling to three cities and four cinemas in two days, I have officially completed the MMFF2016 marathon.

I’m happy to report that the festival achieved its goal and stayed true to its promise of change, of giving the Pinoy audience something new during the holiday season.

Even with a supposed indie selection, I still had a great time in cinemas. Some films made me laugh out loud, some made me cry like a baby, one scared me to my core, the rest I enjoyed watching with young ones (yes, even kids liked these indies!), but most importantly, they required me to think.

Napakasarap makatikim ng ibang klaseng putahe ngayong Kapaskuhan. Hinihintay na lang nila ang ating suporta.

With that said, here’s my festival scorecard:

Best Picture

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1. SUNDAY BEAUTY QUEEN (Baby Ruth Villarama, 2016) – ★★★★★

Napakagandang pelikula! Matututo kang magpasalamat sa bawat biyayang natanggap, pati na rin sa mga sakripisyong hindi mo ginagawa.

At bes, huwag mong sabihin na ayaw mong manood ng malungkot ngayong Pasko dahil sigurado akong pinanood at iniyakan mo lahat ng Christmas ads ng Uber, Selecta, at Coke. Magdala ng isang box ng tissues.

Dahil ang Pasko ay para sa mga bata, isama ang buong pamilya at manood na kayo. Now na. Tapos group hug kayo after. Merry Christmas!! 😊

 

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2. DIE BEAUTIFUL (Jun Lana, 2016) – ★★★★★

Nakakatuwang makatikim ng isang matalinong comedy sa MMFF. Yung nakakatawa ang mga linya at patok sa masa kahit wala ni isang karakter na nahuhulog galing sa bubungan.

Mas nakakatuwa na ang ganitong klaseng produkto ay tinatangkilik ngayon ng mga manonood (puno ang sinehan nung screening namin sa GB3). Pwede naman pala. Kaya naman pala.

Ang talento ni Paolo Ballesteros sa pelikulang ito ay directly proportional sa kanyang kagandahan bilang Trisha Echevarria. Ang husay! Hindi rin nagpakabog si Christian Bables na napakagaling bilang si BFF Barbs. #FriendshipGoals talaga sila. Sana masungkit nila ang Lead at Supporting Actor trophies.

Nuod na mga bes!! 😊

 

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3. SEKLUSYON (Erik Matti, 2016) – ★★★★☆

Sobrang nanghihinayang ako sa pelikulang ito dahil mas maganda pa sana siya kung marunong lamang umarte ang apat na deacons lalo na si Ronnie Alonte.

Ang husay ng technical aspects mula sa production hanggang sound design. Mahirap makalimutan ang lahat ng religious imagery na ginamit dito. Mahusay din ang direksyon para sa isang kakaibang Pinoy horror movie.

Ito talaga ang perfect anti-Christmas movie ngayong taon. Hahamunin kang mag-isip tungkol sa katatagan ng iyong pananampalataya.

 

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4. ANG BABAE SA SEPTIC TANK 2: #FOREVERISNOTENOUGH (Marlon Rivera, 2016) – ★★★★☆

Para sa katulad kong napanood na ata lahat ng Pinoy rom-com at kabisado na ang Star Cinema formula, natawa ako sobra sa pagka-brutal ng pelikulang ito. Bugbog na bugbog ang mainstream filmmaking at escapism in cinema. Walang sinanto katulad ng ginawa nila sa indie filmmaking at poverty porn doon sa unang pelikula.

Awakening talaga ito ni Eugene Domingo. Amoy na amoy ko na naman ang deserving na panalo as Best Actress. Sa three levels of hugot pa lang niya, sulit na ang bayad.

Magaling din si Jericho Rosales bilang Jericho Rosales. May self-awareness ang pagka-plakado bilang rom-com leading man. Naalala ko tuloy si Jaclyn Jose dun sa film within a film ng Tuhog.

Medyo off lang yung abrupt shift in tone dahil sa love story ni Kean Cipriano (na isiningit to ground the film). Pero totoong hinika ako kakatawa hanggang sa pinakahuling sequence. Waging-wagi!!

 

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5. SAVING SALLY (Avid Liongoren, 2016) – ★★★☆☆

Gusto kong tumira sa makulay na mundo ni Marty kahit puno sya ng mga monsters dahil gusto ko makita ang Warner Barberos at Sandara Park. Naalala ko tuloy ang fantasy element ng Scott Pilgrim Vs The World dito.

Nakakakilig at bagay ang tambalang Enzo Marcos at Rhian Ramos. Sana lamang hindi sila Ingles magsalita kasi medyo off para sa akin. Ang hirap lubos na ma-feel ng story dahil sa coniotic speak (ironic ba?). Para lang akong napadaan ulit sa THE Ateneo conyo bench sa labas ng caf. Higad na lang ang kulang para makumpleto ang experience.

“You wanted mayhem, war, and chaos, but isn’t that what love is all about?” Tumpak!!

 

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6. ORO (Alvin Yapan, 2016) – ★★★☆☆

Nag-flashback sa akin ang mga naunang seasons ng American Horror Story sa mga tilted frames na parang see-saw sa pagpapalit-palit. Parang weighing scale na mahirap hanapan ng balanse.

Maganda ang mensahe ng pelikula bilang environmental drama. Malaman ang sinasabi at mabigat sa mga metaphors at symbolisms. May bonus pa na supernatural element (na hindi ko nagustuhan sa Ang Tulay ng San Sebastian pero pasok sa banga sa An Kubo Sa Kawayanan).

Palaban si Irma Adlawan (lagi naman eh). Tindig at upo pa lang naniniwala na akong siya talaga si Kapitana. Sana lang hindi reactionary ang halos lahat ng kanyang eksena kasi siya ang totoong ginto ng pelikula.

 

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7. VINCE & KATH & JAMES (Theodore Boborol, 2016) – ★★☆☆☆

Walang bago maliban sa mga artista. Pinagtagpi-tagping cliches na napanood na natin sa mga dating rom-coms. Hindi rin naman masyadong na-utilize ang textserye origins niya. Halos nakumpleto niya ang checklist ng Star Cinema formula na kinukutya sa Septic Tank 2. Sunset lang ang kulang.

May natural charm itong si Joshua Garcia. Magaling siya dun sa confrontation scene nila ni Ina Raymundo, parang early John Lloyd. Akala ko maiirita ako kay Julia Barretto dito kaya nagulat ako na maayos naman siya, parang early Ate Clau.

Kinilig ang mga teenagers na kasabay kong nanuod. Masyado na ata akong matanda para sa ganitong genre.

 

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8. KABISERA (Arturo San Agustin, Real Florido, 2016) – ★★☆☆☆

Maganda sana dahil napapanahon ang tema nito tungkol sa extrajudicial killings ngunit hindi maayos ang pagkakalahad ng kwento.

Parang binigyan ang bawat artista ng kanyang sariling dramatic highlight para magpakitang-gilas kaya lahat sila eh three notches higher ang akting. Maliban kay Nora Aunor, parang hindi na mabibigyan ng susunod na project ang supporting cast kaya bigay todo na sa pag-ngawa kahit hindi naman kelangan sa eksena.

Ang daming mga bagay na parang walang sense at pinahaba lamang para mapuno ang two hour requirement. Mas mabuti pa yata kung ginawa na lamang siyang episode ng MMK.

 

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

1. PAOLO BALLESTEROS (Die Beautiful)

2. JOSHUA GARCIA (Vince & Kath & James)
3. JOEM BASCON (Oro)
4. ENZO MARCOS (Saving Sally)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

1. EUGENE DOMINGO (Ang Babae sa Septic Tank 2: #ForeverIsNotEnough)
2. IRMA ADLAWAN (Oro)
3. NORA AUNOR (Kabisera)
4. RHIAN RAMOS (Saving Sally)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

1. CHRISTIAN BABLES (Die Beautiful)

2. LOU VELOSO (Seklusyon)
3. JERICHO ROSALES (Ang Babae sa Septic Tank 2: #ForeverIsNotEnough)
4. NEIL RYAN SESE (Seklusyon)
5. LOU VELOSO (Die Beautiful)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

1. RHED BUSTAMANTE (Seklusyon)
2. PHOEBE WALKER (Seklusyon)
3. MERCEDES CABRAL (Oro)
4. MIMI JUAREZA (Die Beautiful)
5. GLADYS REYES (Die Beautiful)
6. SUE PRADO (Oro)
7. CAI CORTEZ (Ang Babae sa Septic Tank 2: #ForeverIsNotEnough)

Until next year!!

CineFilipino Film Festival 2016 Scorecard

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I’m finally done with this year’s CineFilipino Film Festival. I only missed one feature-length due to a permit issue and a documentary because of scheduling concerns. Not bad.

Here’s my festival scorecard:

Best Feature-Length Film
1. SAKALING HINDI MAKARATING – ★★★★★
2. STAR NA SI VAN DAMME STALLONE – ★★★★★

3. NED’S PROJECT – ★★★☆☆
4. ANG TABA KO KASI – ★★★☆☆
5. ANG TULAY NG SAN SEBASTIAN – ★★☆☆☆
6. 1ST SEM – ★★☆☆☆
7. BUHAY HABANGBUHAY – ★★☆☆☆
8. STRAIGHT TO THE HEART – ★☆☆☆☆

Not seen: A LOTTO LIKE LOVE

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

1. SANDINO MARTIN (Ang Tulay Ng San Sebastian)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

1. ANGELI BAYANI (Ned’s Project)
2. CANDY PANGILINAN (Star Na Si Van Damme Stallone)
3. ALESSANDRA DE ROSSI (Sakaling Hindi Makarating)
4. CAI CORTEZ (Ang Taba Ko Kasi)
5. LOTLOT DE LEON (1st Sem)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

1. PEPE HERRERA (Sakaling Hindi Makarating)
2. PAOLO PINGOL (Star Na Si Van Damme Stallone)
3. JC SANTOS (Sakaling Hindi Makarating)
4. ALLAN PAULE (1st Sem)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

1. THERESE MALVAR (Sakaling Hindi Makarating)
2. MAX EIGENMANN (Ned’s Project)

Best Documentary

1. FOREVER BRIDGELESS – ★★★★★
2. AN ORCHESTRA IN SEARCH OF A HOME – ★★★★☆

3. SINA DINO AT ANG KANILANG SIKRETO – ★★★☆☆

Not seen: MGA KULAY SA LABAS NG LINYA

Best Short Film
1. SAANMAN NGUNIT DITO – ★★★★★
2. XXX – ★★★★★
3. OKTOPUS – ★★★★★

4. KUNG ANG ULAN AY GAWA SA TSOKOLATE – ★★★★☆
5. KATOK – ★★★★☆
6. DIGPAN NING ALTI – ★★★★☆
7. CHICBOY – ★★★★☆

8. LUNA – ★★★☆☆
9. NOT APPLICABLE – ★★☆☆☆
10. PUNLA – ★★☆☆☆
11. AKI – ★☆☆☆☆

Until next year!!