MOVIE REVIEW: THE BRIDE AND THE LOVER (Joel Lamangan, 2013)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on the latest Joel Lamangan opus, The Bride and the Lover:

1. “I should have strangled her with my Hermes scarf. Mahal ang Hermes ha!” Oh, this is that kind of movie. Cringe.

2. Paulo Avelino’s a sensitive actor and I can just imagine him cringe-ing & thinking how badly he needed this paycheck.

3. “Furnitures”. I never thought I’d hear it in a movie.

4. Hayden Kho played a bodyguard role that didn’t require acting and he was still bad. He was better in his online movies.

5. Unintentionally funny sex scenes with “Even If” playing in the background. I can’t even.

6. Did the invitation just read “Las Pinas, Paranaque City”? They do know those are two different cities, right?

7. As expected in kabit movies, there’s a requisite catfight. This one had the women spewing “puke” and “burikak”. Eww.

8. Jennylyn Mercado to Lovi Poe: “Maitim ang singit mo!!”

Should she feel offended? Expecting pink?

Something to ponder on.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published May 3, 2013.)