MOVIE REVIEW: UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING (Måns Mårlind, Björn Stein, 2012)


In its first few minutes, Kate Beckinsale as Selene woke up from her cryogenically frozen state, broke her glass chamber, and stumbled out of it fully naked. If your mind was screaming Milla Jovovich as Alice in Resident Evil, then you were absolutely right.

A lot of the elements in this movie reminded me of the RE flicks and I wouldn’t have been surprised to see zombies invading the vampires vs. werewolves story. It was all style over substance with Kate in full leather costume slicing and dicing her opponents in slo-mo. It might not have lacked action sequences, but you’d get tired after seeing several blood gushes and chopped appendages. Ho-hum.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published January 24, 2012.)

MOVIE REVIEW: CONTRABAND (Baltasar Kormakur, 2012)


This was another action thriller starring Mark Wahlberg that was so hard to distinguish from his past movie Shooter. He basically sleepwalked through the role and gave one of his laziest performances since The Happening.

I also drew the line on movies that depict gratuitous violence on women. Poor Kate Beckinsale endured a never-ending round of slaps and gut punches that didn’t really mean much, except to make her look pitiful. Talk about desperation.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published August 10, 2012.)