My notes on The Legend of Hercules:
1. The special effects were so bad that they used the same fake lion that mauled Eugene Domingo in Momzillas.
2. If Hercules is a demigod with extraordinary strength, then why can’t he kill his opponents with one blow? I know I’m overthinking. So bored.
3. Hercules wins a fight and the people start throwing confetti. That scene really made me laugh out loud.
4. Kellan Lutz has saucer-sized nipples. I remember this product I saw in Makati Cinema Square that can make one’s nipples rosy pink.
5. Lutz is a bad actor. As in Gerald Anderson level. And he loves making tampisaw in the batis. He should have Mother Lily’s magic kamison.
6. Why do people keep shouting their lines in these Greek/Roman movies? It’s like the other soldiers or townspeople are deaf. Laging galit din.
7. Stay for the end credits. I think they used live goats on the soundtrack. I have no words.
(Originally published January 11, 2014.)