My notes on Sa Ngalan ng Ama, Ina at Mga Anak:
1. Somebody needed to trim his armpit hair.
2. Since the cast included a big star like Daniel Padilla, he got his own love story arc. Unfortunately the girl was not Kathryn Bernardo.
3. I wonder if all the Padilla boys acted the same way. They talked like there was phlegm permanently stuck in their throats. All hammy, too.
4. Mariel Rodriguez got out of bed butt naked and people started giggling. Was it because of the gratuitous nudity?
5. Wait, was that Aljur Abrenica in a Star Cinema movie? Where was his gratuitous nudity?
6. Robin’s constant posturing and pouting in this movie would make him the perfect choice for a local version of Zoolander.
7. Remember those Fernando Poe, Jr. movies where he was invincible to all flying bullets? Here, the entire Padilla clan played Fernando Poe, Jr.
8. Kylie Padilla delivered her lines like she was in a third grade elocution contest where she kept pausing and forgetting her next words.
9. I’ve never seen this many time jumps since Quantum Leap.
10. With all the splattered blood onscreen, I wonder why this movie was not R-18 for excessive violence. It was like a Tarantino film, less the art.
11. I bet BB Gandanghari could have made this Padilla movie more interesting.
12. So a character jumped on a grenade but didn’t get blown to pieces and even got resurrected by an “agimat”. Ehrm.
I’d rather play Flappy Bird.
(Originally published February 4, 2014.)