My notes on Honeymoon:
1. Bear rugs look creepy. I’m freaked out whenever I see any rug that still has the head of an animal. Any movie with a scene involving a bear rug instantly gives me the chills.
2. Simply put, it was about a couple that went to a cabin in the woods for their honeymoon. Ooh, Cabin in the Woods. It’s time for a rewatch.
3. The story was very predictable down to its anticlimactic ending. From the moment they showed the happy couple on video discussing their wonderful future ahead, I already knew their relationship was doomed. This is exactly how bitter people think.
4. Leisurely-paced would be an understatement. A chunk of the movie was just exposition with minutes spent on the tour of the cabin, the couple’s activities, honeymoon discussions, and lots of pawing. I still enjoyed the ride, though.
5. The lead actress looked like a B-movie Emma Stone. Definitely not a bad thing considering that some of the popular Hollywood stars couldn’t even pass for a C-movie Emma Stone. Oh yes, I’m in love with Emma Stone.
6. Red herring, red herring, red herring. Didn’t throw me off one bit.
7. Everything was going fine until we got close to the big reveal and the husband started saying: “You have her toes. You have her knees. You taste the same. Blah blah blah. But you’re not my wife!” How stupid was this character?
8. One scene involving what looked like an umbilical cord with a wriggling scorpion’s tail being pulled out of the girl’s vajayjay was repulsive and a delight to watch. It was that kind of weird.
9. The rest of the people that watched obviously hated the movie, especially the bizarre ending. “Ano yun? Walang kwenta!” The fact that everyone wanted a refund since they barely understood the final scene made me like it even more. I demand a sequel!!
(Originally published January 9, 2015.)