Piolo Pascual was Piolo Pascual but he seemed to be a bit old to play these cutesy roles. Oh, and his abs deserved second billing. They had more screen time than the disposable, overacting supporting characters.
Only Angelica Panganiban came out unscathed. Such a gifted comedienne and a delight to watch.
Otherwise, this was another derivative drivel populated by all sorts of caricatures. Avoid at all costs.
(Originally published May 19, 2012.)
Hay naku, buti na lang talaga at ang nakatuluyan ni Warden Roan (Sarah Geronimo) in real life ay si childhood friend Vitto (Matteo Guidicelli) at hindi si Presidential asshole Erick (Gerald Anderson). Sabihan ba naman siya na “mukhang high school teacher na tumandang dalaga”, bakit mo piniling mahalin yan girl?
May baong kilig naman ang AshRald pero hindi ko kinaya yung mga eksena dito tulad ng paglalandian nila sa pilapil. Kelan pa naging romantic ang pagyayakapan sa putikan? Eek! Anong sunod, magpapagulong-gulong kayo sa Payatas?
Wala masyadong ganap. Akala ko nga tapos na ang movie nung first hour mark kasi happy ending na. But no, biglang nagdagdag ng unnecessary conflicts (katulad ng irrational na pagiging insekyora ni Roan) na hindi naman dapat problema in the first place. Kaya ayun mabilisan din na-resolve before the pretend kissing scene (bantay-sarado pa si Mommy Divine dati eh).
Nakakalungkot talaga na ang only character development dito ni Roan eh natuto siyang mag-style ng buhok kasi wala siyang ginawa sa buong pelikula kundi ayusin ang makulit niyang bangs.
Definitely a mixed bag but the good ones greatly outweighed the stinkers. The weaker stories were saved by strong performances from Maja Salvador, Angelica Panganiban, and Kim Chiu while the interesting segments were further enhanced by the excellent turns of Bea Alonzo, Zanjoe Marudo, Xyriel Manabat, and Pokwang.
The Bea-Zanjoe segment was just so good it could have worked as an entire movie. I’d recommend this just for that wonderful bit alone.
(Originally published December 5, 2012.)
My notes on Bride for Rent:
1. Trying hard to act was one thing. Trying really hard to play it straight was another.
2. The lines were so corny but Kim Chiu delivered them with such gusto. I really loved her comic timing in these rom-coms.
3. Lola’s boy. Check. Spiffy wardrobe. Check. Worked in a production company. Check. Screamed like a girl. Check. No wonder he didn’t want to get married.
4. I think I just split my kidneys while laughing so hard during Kim’s shower scene. She completely owned this movie.
5. Kim and Xian looked good together so the kilig factor was high but I wished he could go toe-to-toe with her acting prowess.
6. I really liked the bit with the real-life couples. It made me want to believe in forever.
7. “If a person knows how to say sorry, then he is a step closer to becoming a better person.”
8. Oh no, I bet Chinito would be messing with my brain the entire night!
(Originally published January 20, 2014.)