MOVIE REVIEW: THE IMITATION GAME (Morten Tyldum, 2014)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on The Imitation Game:

1. I just have this certain affinity to insufferable genius characters like Dr. Gregory House (House), Sherlock Holmes (Elementary), John Nash (A Beautiful Mind), or even Tony Stark (Iron Man). The more loathsome they get, the more I love them. You can now add Alan Turing to that list.

2. I absolutely abhor Math and any mention of binomials and factorials make my head spin faster than Michelle Kwan on ice. Props to all programmers around the world.

3. If ever they would choose a clip for the Oscars, I hope it’s the job interview of Alan. The excellent writing just sparkled in that scene.

4. To quote one character, “To pull off this irascible genius routine, one has to be a real genius.” The same can be said of Benedict Cumberbatch who was simply brilliant in this movie. He was great in 12 Years a Slave and August: Osage County but this was definitely his best performance to date.

5. I have a new catchphrase that will replace my favorite Miranda Priestley “By all means move at a glacial pace, you know how that thrills me” bitch quote: “It’s highly technical, you wouldn’t understand.” Boom panes!

6. I think I may be successful in breaking the Enigma code as well since I separate the food on my plate and usually by color. Everything goes together only in my stomach.

7. Did Keira Knightley have her teeth fixed? Her crooked smile was what made her completely adorable. Why?!

8. Must remember to use the word “indecorous” one of these days.

9. “I know it’s not ordinary. But who ever loved ordinary?” Mega feels!

10. Sure you can nitpick about the lack of depth on Turing as a gay character, or how far off the story was from real events, or how it got preachy in the end but it was still a solid and completely engaging film all-throughout.

11. Who run the world? Gays.

Rating: ★★★★★

(Originally published February 10, 2015.)

MOVIE REVIEW: PASSENGERS (Morten Tyldum, 2016)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Passengers:

1. I could never be an astronaut. Just the thought of putting on a helmet (and the fear that my head would get stuck in it) had given me endless nightmares. I almost fainted when I saw that viral video where a teenage girl got her head caught in a pumpkin. Suffice to say, I wouldn’t survive in a spaceship even if I were in suspended animation for 120 years (because I would eventually wake up and immediately die of claustrophobia).

2. I wasn’t the biggest fan of recent space sci-fi movies (Elysium, Interstellar, not even the critically-lauded Gravity), but an interesting trailer that promised a few thrills and my fondness for Chris Pratt since Guardians of the Galaxy was enough to draw me in. Well, thank goodness for his cute butt because I really wasn’t expecting this to be a comedy.

3. The Avalon’s voice sounded very much like that soothing theme park voice you hear before boarding a ride in Disneyland. For our local version, I would like to suggest that we get the Ate voice from Uniqlo that courteously thanks all customers for “shahpeeng”.

4. Pratt was still charming as ever here, but it ultimately became his downfall. Even during the dramatic moments, it was just hard to take him seriously. Like he was trying to keep a straight face while giving these directions: “We need to find something big, something broken, something wrong.” He could very well have been talking about the screenplay. (Also, he looked cute in a scruffy beard.)

5. A lot of vicious reviews called this clunker “Titanic in Space” and I could understand why. As the biggest fan of that disaster flick (shamelessly, still my favorite film of all time), I remembered it so much in the following scenes:

• The langit-lupa situation of the doomed lovers, where he flew coach and could only get the normal cup of coffee while she belonged in the gold section that could choose between a macchiato and a French cream blend. (One of the reasons why I enjoy flying Cebu Pacific: no class distinction, everyone can only purchase the same “Snacks for sale!”.)

• Remember when Rose felt lonely and abandoned and wanted to jump off the ship? Yup, somebody here also felt terribly alone and attempted to jump into oblivion (coincidentally, another bad space sci-fi movie).

• “Do you trust me?” and “You die, I die” scenes lifted directly from the sinking ship’s screenplay (which was obviously not its strongest suit to begin with).

• One auto-dock left that could only save either of them. Dying of hypothermia next to a floating door in the ocean was more romantic.

• His one last habilin to “Wake up and you’ll finish what you were supposed to do” sounded very much like “You’re going to die an old woman and have lots of babies…” and then the camera slowly panned to the picture frames with Rose showing that she indeed lived a full life, rode horses, and toured the world and…wait, I needed to wipe away my tears.

6. I loved how Chris and Jennifer Lawrence (in a knockout white bathing suit) were able to maintain their to die for bodies through constant sex on every flat surface. But then again, they were in space and could have gone beyond the Kama Sutra, but didn’t. Imagine the endless possibilities!

7. 19 years to send mail in outer space? Would that be sloth mail?

8. Michael Sheen as the android bartender reminded me of Rosie in The Jetsons. In one scene, I actually thought that Chris was also an android because he was brutally attacked by JLaw and yet didn’t sustain any wounds or bruises. Why?

9. I probably laughed the loudest when JLaw screamed “Come back to me! I can’t live on the ship without you!!”. No wait, it was actually when she pulled the string to bring back a dead floating Chris in space. Now why didn’t Sandra Bullock think of that?

Rating: ★★☆☆☆