MOVIE REVIEW: CINCO (Frasco Mortiz, Enrico Santos, Ato Bautista, Nick Olanka, Cathy Garcia-Molina, 2010)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

Anthology of five horror shorts kyemerut. Parang pa-bibong Shake, Rattle, Roll with its two additional stories pero hindi naman nakadagdag sa scare factor.

BRASO (Frasco Mortiz) – ★☆☆☆☆

Tungkol sa baklang braso na nag-break free sa pagiging closeta at dinakma ang yagbols ni AJ Perez (RIP).

PAA (Enrico Santos) – ★★★☆☆

Tungkol sa isang nanay (Jodi Sta. Maria in full batas ng isang api mode) na hindi marunong magpagpag kaya sinundan ng multo ng batang ninakawan niya ng sapatos.

MATA (Ato Bautista) – ★★☆☆☆

Tungkol sa isang babaeng (Maja Salvador) trapped in a Groundhog Day nightmare kung saan jowa niya lagi si Rayver Cruz. Saklap.

MUKHA (Nick Olanka) – ★★☆☆☆

Tungkol sa bitch from hell na boss (Mariel Rodriguez channeling Kimmy Go Dong Hae) na ginamit ang mukha ng kawawang office janitor to test their new photocopying machine. Naghiganti tuloy ang kaluluwa nito na galit sa mga DDS tulad ng asawa ni boss na si Robin Padilla.

PUSO (Cathy Garcia-Molina) – ★★☆☆☆

Tungkol sa isang chakang perya performer (Pokwang) na desperadong magka-lovelife at sa kasamaang-palad ay zombie ang nagayuma. Hindi na rin masama kasi mas mukha pang mabango ang naaagnas na si Zanjoe Marudo kesa sa mga People You May Know ng Facebook.

Saan banda ako dapat matakot?

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

RONDA (Nick Olanka, 2014)

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Nick Olanka’s aptly-titled Ronda was an hour of watching policemen roam the streets of Manila. It was the most boring ride-along ever.

In one scene, a mother said this clunker while searching for her kid: “Anak ko yun. Kilala ko ang anak ko.” I’m sure you do, lady.

And yet in another, a badly-hurt man rode with the police so they could rush him to a nearby hospital. And the car moved at 20 km/h.

If there’s one good thing in this film, it was the admirable restraint shown by Ai-ai delas Alas in her dramatic scenes. She usually sobs like crazy in all those Wenn Deramas movies so it’s good to see her rein back the hysterics. A fine effort.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published August 5, 2014.)