A WRINKLE IN TIME (Ava DuVernay, 2018)

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More like a waste of time. Not even the sight of Reese Witherspoon as a flying lettuce wrap could make me sit through this awful, boring mess again. You owe me a brand new car, Tita Oprah!!

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published March 18, 2018.)

CRUEL INTENTIONS (Roger Kumble, 1999)

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The “You can put it anywhere” line still shocks my inner prude.

Now that this film has aged 20 years, maybe we can get a rainbow remake with Ezra Miller, Tom Holland, and Lucas Hedges.

That memorable Bittersweet Symphony ending must be retained, though.

Rating: ★★★☆☆

(Originally published March 6, 2019.)

WILD (Jean-Marc Vallee, 2014)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Wild:

1. The film opened with a scene involving the removal of a dead toenail. Wait, was that a transliteration or was patay na kuko really dead nail in English? Either way, I was in pain. It set the proper tone for all the physical and emotional torture that unfolded.

2. Shouting on top of a mountain is definitely cathartic. Try it.

3. One of the things I hate doing before a big vacation is packing. I don’t like getting wrinkles on clothes that I will be wearing for selfies. And I never pack light even if it’s for an overnight stay.

4. I’ve been seeing a lot of poop being shown onscreen lately. Please tell me this won’t be a trend. People are eating popcorn while watching. On second thought, it can save me the fats and calories. But still, no.

5. One scene showed how we easily judge people based on appearances. Or maybe that was just me being really judgmental.

6. Reese Witherspoon was great in the lead role and I was surprised with all the nudity in the movie. She didn’t even show a lot of skin in Cruel Intentions and that was all about sexuality.

7. This film made me realize that I will never survive camping in the middle of a desert. Or even the first five hundred meter hike. I had to use my inhaler several times while watching.

8. I loved how everything felt like a dream-like state where flashes of the past were inserted during her actual hike. I definitely appreciated this more than Jean-Marc Vallee’s previous effort, The Dallas Buyers Club.

9. How could Laura Dern be playing Reese’s mom? She only looked a few years older than her. She was really fantastic in her limited screen time, though.

10. Can someone explain the significance of the fox? Yes, I’m encouraging you to watch it so you can explain it after. Such a lovely film.

Rating: ★★★★★

(Originally published February 15, 2015.)

SING (Garth Jennings, Christophe Lourdelet, 2016)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Sing:

1. When the Illumination logo showed up and the Minions started singing, I suddenly wished that they were part of the movie. What kind of animals (critters?) were they, anyway? At least it made me excited for their next outing. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be as bad as the last one.

2. I really liked the zippy opening montage introducing all the animals and their current dilemmas. Most of the characters here reminded me so much of Zootopia (like they existed in a parallel cinema universe). I wish their story arcs (young man going against his father’s dream for him, housewife wanting to fulfill her passion, teenage girl experiencing her first heartbreak, etc.) were more developed though, because they represented majority of us and our insecurities.

3. Buster Moon’s (Matthew McConaughey) love for theater at a young age reminded me of my early days watching Fernando Poe, Jr. (and the occasional Sharon Cuneta) films in Alabang Twin Cinema. My grandmother would always drag me to see Da King decimate an entire army of goons with just a .45 (without ever reloading bullets!).

Parents, it’s never too late to expose your kids to the arts.

4. Any American Idol fan would be able to relate to the entire audition process and competition rules (at one point, Buster dictated the songs that he wanted the contestants to perform; hello Simon Fuller controversy!). The selection of songs used here ranged from the classics (Hallelujah, also one of the most-performed songs on AI) to the current pop songs (Crazy in Love, Bad Romance, Firework, Stay With Me).

My favorite auditionees were the Asereje spiders and the Japanese little foxes girl group. They made me cheer from my seat out of nostalgia.

5. The movie occasionally made fun of one character with a disability, an elderly iguana with a glass eye. I laughed out really loud when the said eye fell out of its socket and bounced on the keyboard, resulting to an error on the actual cash prize for the competition. Would I go straight to hell for that?

6. Although the story was only fairly decent, most of the voice performances were really strong. Aside from McConaughey singing Call Me Maybe, it was a delight to hear Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansson, Seth McFarlane and Taron Egerton belting their hearts out.

My favorite though was Tori Kelly as Meena, a shy elephant with stage fright. When she had her shining moment performing Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing, I was cheering along with the rest of the animal crowd.

7. The squid light show looked enchanting but weirdly enough also made me crave for Mesa’s Baby Squid Adobo in its own ink.

8. As a person with stage fright myself (I forgot a huge chunk of my speech during a Talumpatian in grade school and cried onstage), I would always remember what Buster said to Meena, “Don’t let fear stop you from doing the thing you love.” Noted and noted.

Rating: ★★★☆☆