MOVIE REVIEW: URBAN LEGEND (Jamie Blanks, 1998)

Eto na ba ang weirdest stories na kayang maisip ng mga Amerikano? Walang-wala yan sa imagination nating mga Pinoy.

Maliban sa ahas lover ni Alice Dixson sa Robinson’s Galleria (na take note, twin ni billionaire heiress Robina Gokongwei), aliw na aliw ako nung lumabas ang kuwento na gawa sa pusa ang siopao. Sinabi pa sa akin ng pinsan ko na tingnan ko daw yung mark sa siopao kasi yun ang magsasabi kung ano ang laman niya (kapag yellow dot asado, red dot for bola-bola, at pink dot for sio-meow). Matagal din ako hindi kumain sa Hen Lin nun.

Syempre natakot din ako sa sinabi ng lola ko na wag ako lalabas kapag tanghali (tirik ang araw) kasi meron manunupot (meaning taong naglalagay ng mga bata sa supot). Yung dugo daw ng mga bata ang ginagamit pampatibay ng mga tulay tapos pinupugot ang ulo nila at isinasama sa semento. Kaya kapag dumadaan kami nun sa tulay ng Tanauan sa Batangas, napapaisip ako ilang matitigas na ulong bata na ang nakahalo dun. Buti na lang lagi ako natutulog kapag tanghali.

Pero ang pinaka-orkot moment talaga eh yung tungkol sa White Lady ng Balete Drive. Yung bigla na lang sumasakay sa likuran ng kotse kapag napadaan ka dun ng hatinggabi. Tapos nagka-movie pa na si Zsa Zsa Padilla yung white lady na biglang naging naaagnas na bangkay habang nagsasayaw. Isang buwan ata akong hindi nag-banyo ng gabi dahil sa hinayupak na pelikulang yun. Dapat siningil ko ang Seiko Films para sa UTI bill ko. Huling balita napadpad sa Concha Cruz Drive sa Parañaque yung white lady. Hindi ko rin alam bakit naisipan pa niyang pumunta sa South. Baka gustong mag-malling sa Alabang Town Center.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

FILM FESTIVAL REVIEW: CINEFILIPINO SHORT FILMS – SET A (2018)

C7BFB6A7-3BA3-4895-9C97-85C0244CCB3C

#CineFilipino2018 – SHORTS A

LUISA AT GUADA (Jude Matanguihan, 2018) – ★★★★★

I’m such a sucker for these old people stories. Maybe because I’m not just an old soul, I’m just really old (huh?). The sungka reference, the pop culture chismisan about Kris Aquino and James “Uy”, the usual lola shade of “Ganyan ba manamit ang matinong babae?”, and the subsequent “Santissima!”. More relate, more fun.

Sherry Lara and Peewee O’Hara were terrific as the lifetime BFFs. One could only wish for a lasting friendship like theirs.

*****

RUFYLA (Coleen Tanco, 2018) – ★★☆☆☆

I really liked the tranquil opening sequence that also served as an introduction to the majestic T’boli culture, but then it devolved into a melodramatic public service ad about exploitation of probinsyanas (and to an extent, indigenous people). Literal kung literal.

*****

BINATA NA (Dexter de Jesus, 2018) – ★★☆☆☆

Interesting choice of not showing the faces of the actors, but it wasn’t able to add much on the discussion of circumcision as a Pinoy rite of passage to manhood. Of course there had to be a shot of a banana being peeled. I would have preferred an eggplant’s tip being chopped off, though.

*****

BOYET LOVES YOU (Josel Fajardo, 2018) – ★★★★☆

An effective horror-comedy that didn’t resort to cheap scares. Terrific performances from the two girls (one of them’s viral sensation Kat Galang) who had me from the moment they discussed the urban legend of the Snake Man in Robinson’s Galleria. You would probably piss your pants from laughing and/or pure terror.

*****

TUGMA (Joshua Tayco, 2018) – ★☆☆☆☆

Clearly well-intentioned, but its inauthenticity made it unbearable to watch. What rhymes with corny? (This had a rapping kid obviously named Rap so please don’t say horny.)

*****

SI APONIBOLINAYEN AT ANG MGA BATANG LUMILIPAD (April Aspiras, 2018) – ★★☆☆☆

Another social commentary, this time about displaced Lumads set in a constantly smoky place to establish atmosphere (seriously though, bakit laging mausok?). Very much like the kids with their glider, one would hope that this would soar, but it crashed with a resounding thud. (Pa-smart lang ako. Di ko lang talaga naintindihan.)