MOVIE REVIEW: LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER (Simon West, 2001)

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It was fun to see a live action woman with a 36DD not toppling over while walking or doing an aerial ballet. Still, Angelina Jolie should never have messed with the Illuminati.

Also, a pre-James Bond Daniel Craig already practicing for his iconic role with gratuitous nude (shower!) scenes.

+1 for U2’s Elevation during the end credits.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published May 8, 2017.)

MOVIE REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES 2 (Simon West, 2012)

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Yes, it’s a great casting coup but we’ve seen everything in the original. They just threw in Jean-Claude Van Damme (reasonably stiff), Chuck Norris (gloriously hamming it up and making fun of his death rumors), and Liam Hemsworth (sticking out like a sore thumb) and completely forgot to write a decent plot. My favorite person in the cast (Jet Li) was onscreen for barely 10 minutes.

I know this falls under “mindless action films” but we at least deserved a serviceable story, right? (Hmm, maybe I expected too much?)

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

(Originally published September 3, 2012.)