MA (Tate Taylor, 2019)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Ma:

1. In most (if not all) of her films, Octavia Spencer displayed such an amiable and trustworthy aura that one wouldn’t suspect that her character might be a few fries short of a Happy Meal (or in the case of The Help, that she was already feeding you the most delicious shit pie). I would usually have problems with films that made me sympathize with demented people (read: psychotic murderers), but it also spoke a lot about the brilliance of the actors that played them (e.g. Anthony Perkins in Psycho, Matt Damon in The Talented Mr. Ripley, Kathy Bates in Misery, to name a few).

In one scene from this ridiculously trashy yet insanely enjoyable psychological thriller, Sue Ann aka Ma (Spencer) was smiling inside her car when a bunch of kids threw beer at her window. It brought back memories of being bullied in school and feeling like a pathetic loner slash loser that she just spontaneously burst into tears. Needless to say, I cried along with her, completely forgetting that she lured underaged kids in her basement and emotionally tormented one of them with a loaded gun just a few minutes earlier. Why’d you do this to me, Ma?

2. If that wasn’t enough to make you an instant fan of Spencer, she also had this FaceTime scene where she said “Why wait for the weekend? It’s five o’clock somewhere!” then let out a deranged cackle that both creeped me out and made me laugh out loud. I hadn’t even touched on Ma’s crazy dance moves that included the Funky Town robot and some can-crushing set to Kung Fu Fighting. It was easy to understand why these kids (that weirdly resembled a grown-up version of the Stranger Things cast) would party with this stranger. I mean I could be best friends with Ma, hideous maroon beret notwithstanding.

3. Diana Silvers (also good in Booksmart) looked like a cross between Anne Hathaway and Gaby Hoffman, no? Ooh, time for a Now and Then rewatch.

And speaking of lookalikes, the girl that played Ashley who would always pretend to pass out in parties could pass as Marilyn Manson’s daughter (ironically enough, she played a pastor’s daughter in this movie).

4. “You can smoke until you’re twenty-five and then quit and nothing bad will happen” sounded like an advice that I’d give as a parent. Which would also explain why I probably didn’t have any kids.

5. I had never seen this many number of syringes piercing the skin since Amanda was thrown in the Needle Pit during Saw II. I was just thankful that I still had quick reflexes to shield my eyes or I probably would have passed out in my seat.

(And don’t get me started on those stitched lips.)

6. Seeing a naked Luke Evans almost getting his penis cut off reminded me so much of that schlocky local revenge film Loretta, where Ruffa Gutierrez played a version of Lorena Bobbitt. Yes, it was the “Take it! Take it!” role where her MMFF Best Actress win lasted for a good thirty minutes (RIP Viveka Babajee).

But going back to that penis, was it prosthetic? Should I assume that Evans didn’t have the guts to have his real manhood anywhere near a kitchen knife unlike the fearless Carlos Morales in Laro sa Baga?

Also, what was that canine blood transfusion for? Was it because he was being such a bitch to her in high school?

7. So Sue Ann aka Ma worked as a veterinary technician/assistant. Please tell me that wasn’t the reason why her dog only had three legs huhu. (That moment when she was holding a pair of clippers made me feel really queasy. For nothing, but still.)

8. Speaking of Kathy Bates, one scene here reminded me so much of her Annie Wilkes. It was when Sue Ann aka Ma arrived from work and noticed that her cat figurines weren’t facing in the direction that she left them. Was that kind of attention to detail and obsessiveness a sign of being a murderous psycho? I could relate because I would also turn into one whenever people messed with my stuff. You have been warned, pakialameras!!

Rating: ★★★☆☆

HIDDEN FIGURES (Theodore Melfi, 2016)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on Hidden Figures:

1. Jimmy Kimmel in the recent Oscars telecast said it best when he introduced the amazing trio of actresses in this film as Algebra’s Angels.

Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and Janelle Monae portrayed Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson respectively, the real-life brains behind NASA’s space exploration program in the early ’60s. These women’s admirable display of courage and resiliency (and basically kicked ass!) amidst the blatant racial and gender discrimination in Virginia during that time was a story that needed to be told (“Every time we have a chance to move ahead, they move the finish line”).

As expected, I cried my heart out throughout the movie’s entirety. Surprisingly, none of it was because of the mathematical equations (elliptical vs parabolic!) written on the board.

2. Katherine was obviously a gifted child because at a young age she could identify all the various shapes (rhombus! tetrahedron!) on a window design even if I could only see pointed shapes and a swirling blob pattern. She reminded me so much of John Nash, another genius that saw symbols float from windows that led to his Nobel Prize.

As the adult Katherine, Taraji dialled her famous feisty persona several notches down and it effectively worked in her favor. Cookie Lyon would never run half a mile just to pee in a colored bathroom so it was a pleasant surprise when this plucky side showed up in that outburst scene where Katherine, fully drenched from the rain and probably 10 pounds lighter from all the running, stood up to her supervisor (Kevin Costner) who questioned her long bathroom breaks (“I have to run to Timbuktu just to relieve myself!”).

Still surprised she didn’t get an Oscar nomination for that brilliant scene which fully summarized the hurt and embarrassment caused by segregation (colored bathrooms, colored coffee pot, colored fountain, colored seats at the back of the bus, colored entrance in buildings, unbelievable!!). And yes, I cried even more when Costner took a sledgehammer and knocked down that bathroom sign (“Here at NASA, we all pee the same color”). Bring a box of tissues!

3. Given the heavy and serious themes, the movie still managed to wring out laughs from all of the tension. Most of the humor came from the scenes with Janelle (who actually channeled Cookie) and whose character Mary couldn’t care less what the others thought of her liberal ideals (“I have the right to see fine men regardless of color”).

Weirdly enough, I couldn’t hold back my tears even if some scenes were played for laughs (again, all the running done to the bathroom was just heartbreaking). This inspirational film couldn’t be accused of emotional manipulation if all of my pain was self-inflicted, right?

4. “No shoe is worth a life.” This obviously happened pre-Manolo Blahnik, Christian Louboutin and Jimmy Choo.

5. If there was one thing I wasn’t too fond of, it was the amount of time devoted to Katherine’s lovelife. I knew it was meant to humanize her considering that she was a walking computer, but we could have done without it. At 127 minutes, the movie obviously needed a bit of trimming.

6. I really loved the slice of pie reference made to Octavia. I probably held off on eating chocolate pie for a full year after seeing Minnie’s recipe on The Help.

7. Were those huge contraptions the first IBM computer models? They actually looked like the scariest dialysis machines. Kids these days are just way fortunate (read: entitled).

8. Kirsten Dunst played her bitchy supervisor role so well that I wanted to slap her Legal Wife-style when she made Dorothy look like a custodian and asked her to push those heavy files back using a steel cart. Oh, the nerdddddd!!

Speaking of, Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) naturally played the head engineer. Not surprised at all that the cast won the SAG for Best Ensemble.

9. So happy to live in a time when these women are hidden figures no more. Nothing can trump that feeling. Oh, wait…

Rating: ★★★★☆

THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN (Tate Taylor, 2016)

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SPOILER ALERT!!

My notes on The Girl On The Train:

1. In the late 90’s/early 00’s, there was an onslaught of trashy suspense-thrillers (mostly based on or inspired by James Patterson novels) that were supposed to serve as female empowerment films. My favorite ones (and by favorite, I meant LOL guilty pleasure) starred Ashley Judd, the former action heroine slash patron saint of battered wives now relegated to playing Tris’ doormat mother. Her characters would always be tormented by these filthy men (the worst kind being her own husband) and she would always get her revenge through some clunky plot twist (in Double Jeopardy, she had the pleasure of killing her man because she was already falsely convicted of his murder and could not be tried for the same offense twice).

I missed that level of craziness while watching this 2016 version of rah-rah sisterhood (from the director of The Help, gasp!) that proved to be the exact opposite of the far superior Gone Girl (probably the weirdest version of a feminist film to hit the big screen). I completely lost interest in reading the novel this was based on as well.

2. Was it unfair to compare it to Gone Girl? Well, not really since everything here seemed to have been inspired by both the book and film versions. The main title’s font, the central mystery, the overlapping timelines, I could just imagine Amy Dunne throwing a mean bitch fit (with a kitchen knife, of course!).

3. Thank heavens for the excellent Emily Blunt who obviously pulled all the weight in this trainwreck. It was really scary to see a grown woman like Rachel drinking alcohol out of a thermos bottle and her finest moment happened early in the movie when she danced like a mad woman in the park to block out her sadness. I felt so bad for her character that I actually forgave her for wasting a tray of delicious-looking deviled eggs.

4. “Have you ever been on a train and started wondering about the lives of the people that live near the tracks?”

Obviously not, because I have no plans of ever riding the gnarly PNR and if I did to satisfy such morbid curiosity, I don’t think I would be able to look out the window. I’ll most probably end up wondering why the man next to me forgot to wear deodorant. Seriously though, with the speed of that train and its distance from the houses, how was Rachel even able to do all that snooping without binoculars?

5. Anybody who had seen What Lies Beneath would not easily fall for the blatant red herrings sprinkled all-throughout the movie. Its attempts to create a murder-mystery based on Rachel’s substance abuse problem was weak given the substantial lack of motive. If she was supposed to be too crazy in love to actually stalk her husband’s current wife on Facebook, then most of us could be charged guilty as well.

6. Haley Bennett looked like Jennifer Lawrence-lite with such a tiny waist that I wasn’t surprised that Rachel (or any woman for that matter) would want to snatch her extensions out of envy. It was also hard to empathize with her Megan character because during her Basic Instinct finger scene, she reminded me so much of Alma Moreno explaining her uncontrollable state of horniness in the Joey Gosengfiao cult classic Nympha (“Nag-iinit ang katawan ko tuwing nakakakita ako ng lalaki!!).

7. In one scene, new wife Anna was trying to figure out the password of her husband’s laptop. I wasn’t sure why she tried basic names (do people actually use just a name like Rachel as their secret password?), but I laughed really hard when she tried her own name and it was also incorrect. Masaklap ba teh? I wasn’t surprised when she rotated a corkscrew around his neck by the end of the film.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆