YOU’RE STILL THE ONE (Chris Martinez, 2015)

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My notes on You’re Still the One:

1. The movie started with Maja Salvador and Dennis Trillo playing high school students engaged in a debate on the Y2K bug. It was in English so we all knew Maja had no chance of winning that one.

2. Dennis looked like his face was filtered twice using Camera 360. I swear it was glossier than the film.

3. Maja wore a wig presumably borrowed from Dora Go Dong Hae.

4. During a family dinner…

Son: (joking) “Bakit Ma, nagahasa ka din ba?”

This was supposed to be funny? I didn’t get it.

5. Dennis: “Sino bang nag-imbento ng kalibugan? Diba si Lord?”

All the old ladies in the cinema gasped in horror.

6. Dennis stopped his lovemaking with Ellen Adarna to place a fake mole on her batok (like Maja’s) using a pentel pen. Couldn’t he just use his imagination?

7. As a lawyer, Maja should have known better than to match an orange top with a white blazer and a purple bag. That outfit was a crime.

8. Why is it always winter in the US/Canada in these Skype calls?

9. Bakit laging pa-demure mag-kiss si Sir Chief?

10. Just in case you fell asleep, Maja recapped everything that happened in the movie during the final scene. Salamat!!

11. Nasa Baclaran ang forever. Pero wala talagang forever. #arayqbhe

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Originally published May 28, 2015.)

SOLTERA (Jerry Lopez Sineneng, 1999)

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It was only apt that in this movie about a jaded spinster, the most touching moment involved her spending her anniversary not with her younger boyfriend, but with her gay bff (along the fresh waters of Manila Bay).

Originally planned as a local version of Fatal Attraction, it fortunately took a different turn and ended up as a blatant push for feminism.

I really liked how it tackled relationship issues stemming from a huge age gap and class differences (“Ayaw ko ng paintings, gusto ko comics! Ayaw ko ng opera, gusto ko sine!”).

I also realized that I was a total control freak like Sandra (Maricel Soriano) when she started correcting her boyfriend’s grammar and pronunciation.

This made me feel really old when one of the discussions revolved around the Y2K scare and the “centennial” bug (“Ni-correct ko naman ah! MI-LI-NYUM!!”). Huhu facepalm.

Rating: ★★★☆☆